How to Actually Start Homeschooling (From Someone Who Learned the Hard Way)

So, you’re thinking about homeschooling — and first, let me just say: the fact that you’re here means you care. That right there is the most important step. If you could teach your child to walk and talk, you can absolutely teach them academics. Homeschooling is not perfection. It’s not “school at home.” It’s simply the freedom to educate your children in the way that works best for your family.

Let’s walk through this together — step by step — like we’re having coffee at the kitchen table, kids playing in the background.

What is homeschooling, really?

Before I started homeschooling, I pictured the perfect scene: kids at the table, smiling and eager to learn, rich discussions flowing, and planners filled with color-coded lessons executed exactly as planned.

Reality is different. While a few days look just like that, others involve cereal bowls, pajamas, and math happening on the couch through a game show.

Families choose homeschooling for many reasons. Some want to provide a safer environment. Others hope for deeper, more meaningful learning or more flexibility. For some, public school just wasn’t working. Many families simply want more time together or a lifestyle that fits better.

All of these reasons are valid, and none require defending. Homeschooling is simply the right to teach your children in the way that serves them best.

Is homeschooling legal?

Yes! Homeschooling is legal in all 50 states — but every state has different rules, reporting requirements, and record-keeping.

The easiest place to check is HSLDA.org, which keeps the laws updated and broken down by state.

What paperwork do I need to file?

This depends on your state and when you start.

• Starting at the beginning of the school year?
  You’ll likely file a Declaration of Intent (DOI).
• Pulling your child out of school mid-year?
  You may need to file withdrawal paperwork with the school AND submit your DOI.

Again — check your state’s requirements. Some states are super strict, some barely ask for anything.

How do I actually start homeschooling?

There are so many opinions out there on the “right” way to begin, but honestly—it depends on what grade you’re starting with and what your family needs. I’m not claiming to be an expert, but here’s what I learned: start simple. Don’t spend thousands right out of the gate. Don’t feel like you have to buy every shiny curriculum bundle you see. And please don’t stress yourself out trying to recreate a full public school classroom in your dining room. In the beginning, focus on the foundations:

• Math
• Reading
• Writing (or typing)

Math is everywhere — groceries, gas prices, budgeting, cooking, mortgages.
Reading opens the world.
Writing and typing are required in nearly everything today.

Then ask yourself a critical question:

What do YOU feel is important for your child to learn?

History? Gardening? Coding? Baking? Literature?
Whatever matters to your family can absolutely become part of homeschooling — just make sure you’re still meeting your state’s minimum requirements.

How do I choose subjects when kids have different ages or interests?

If you’re starting with the younger years, my recommendation is simple:
• Letters
• Numbers
• Exposure

A 6-year-old doesn’t need a full deep dive into abstract history or molecular biology. Most kids aren’t developmentally ready for heavy history facts—and honestly, most adults don’t fall in love with history until they’re old enough to emotionally connect with it.

In our home, it looks like this:

The kids love experiments—volcanoes, slime, reactions—but ask them to memorize which scientist discovered what, and suddenly the spark disappears. So right now, we focus on building the basics and feeding their curiosity. We’ll go deeper as they grow.

My oldest is 12, and now we’re slowly introducing more structured science and history lessons because now it actually clicks.

Homeschooling is growth, not a race.

Combining Subjects for Kids of Different Ages

If you have kids of different ages, one trick that works beautifully is combining subjects where individualized instruction isn’t necessary. For example, read-alouds can be done as a family “pow wow” in the living room, with everyone listening at their own level. Subjects like art can also be grouped together—just make sure the older kids have clearer expectations or more detailed instructions so they are still challenged.

A tip I wish someone had told me earlier: figure out your child’s learning style.

This alone can save you time, money, frustration, tears, and a whole lot of “What am I doing wrong?” moments. Some kids learn best by reading, some by watching, some by doing, and some need movement to absorb information. If your child thrives with hands-on learning, but you’re trying to teach through long worksheets and lectures, everyone is going to be miserable.

Once you understand how your child learns, everything changes—lessons make more sense, frustration drops, and homeschooling becomes not just doable, but enjoyable. It can be the difference between a constant uphill battle and that “Oh wow… this actually works!” moment.

Exploring Your Child’s Passions

And when it comes to their interests? Lean into them. There are so many great resources out there. You can ask your local community Facebook groups for tutors or instructors for piano, drums, art, or anything else your child loves. You can also check out classes on Outschool.com for a huge variety of topics and hobbies.

Structured homeschool or relaxed? Which is better?

Honestly — whichever works for you. I know that doesn’t feel like a solid answer because most of us want someone to tell us the “right” way, but the truth is every family is different.

Some families thrive with schedules, bells, charts, and lesson plans.
Other families panic if a plan goes off track.

There is no prize for the most perfectly timed school day.

Here’s a good middle ground:

• If schedules help you — make one.
• If schedules stress you out — create a rhythm instead.

A rhythm might look like:

1. Breakfast
2. Reading
3. Math
4. Play
5. Writing
6. Done when we’re done

No clock required — but progress still happens.

Want to see a real-life example? I shared the rhythm we use in my earlier post, which has made our days simpler and more peaceful for everyone. You can check it out here.

Do I need a classroom or special space?

If you want one — absolutely go for it.

We’ve done it all:

• At the kitchen table
• In the living room
• School with a full dedicated “homeschool room”
• Learning outside
• Learning at parks, libraries, in the car, you name it

Some families even convert a backyard shed into a schoolhouse. Others homeschool on the road in RVs.

A learning space can be:

• Table
• Book cart
• Backpack
• The couch
• The floor
• A whiteboard
• Notebook and a pencil

Kids don’t need Pinterest — they need presence.

How do I plan a simple first week?

Here’s a gentle start:

• 10–15 minutes of numbers (math lesson/review)
• 10–15 minutes of letters (spelling lesson/review)
• A learning game
• A fun educational show

This approach also works beautifully after vacations, holidays, or any break in schoolwork when everyone needs to ease back in.

There are so many great learning programs:

For younger kids:

• Numberblocks
• Alphablocks
• Blaze and the Monster Machines
• Team Umizoomi
• Wallykazam

For older kids:

• Magic School Bus
• Weird But True
• Educational YouTube documentaries

(And yes — screen time can be educational.) Learning can happen through documentaries, nature shows, cooking competitions, historical dramas, and more. You might be surprised how much kids absorb from well-selected content. If you want to learn more on how TV can be educational, check out this earlier post. Real-world learning counts, and it often sticks better than sitting at a desk with a worksheet.

Common fears new homeschoolers have (and why you can relax)

If you’re thinking any of these:

• “I’m not enough.”
• “I don’t know if I can do this.”
• “What if I mess them up?”

Congratulations — you’re officially a homeschool parent.

Here’s the truth:

You WILL mess up.
I mess up.
Everyone messes up.

Also — you’re human… unless you’re a homeschooling extraterrestrial, in which case:
1️⃣ that’s awesome,
2️⃣ please tell us how recess works on your planet.

Your children seeing you learn, adjust, grow, and make mistakes is one of the most valuable educations they can get.

If you need more encouragement, I’ve written several posts that dive deeper into this, including:
• Five Truths About Homeschooling
• Six Common Mistakes New Homeschoolers Make
• A post giving you permission to take a break when you need it

Because life is hard. Educating our little ones is hard. But you don’t have to be perfect — just present, willing, and learning right along with them.

How do I balance homeschooling with work or life?

Every family finds their own rhythm.

Some have a parent working nights, so school happens late in the day. Some do school on weekends. Some do four days a week. Some follow traditional schedules.

In our house:

My boys attend a drop-off co-op on Thursdays. That one day gives me six uninterrupted hours to write, work on the blog, or focus on my books.

That single day changed everything.

The beauty of homeschooling is that school happens when life allows — not the other way around. It may take trial and error, but you will figure out your system.

And yes, I’m sorry it isn’t a straight, one-size-fits-all answer — but families have different needs, routines, and realities. You’ll find what works for you. It doesn’t have to be perfect right out of the batting cage. You can adjust as many times as needed.

Ask me how I know.

Final encouragement

Take a deep breath, keep showing up, and embrace the freedom:

Homeschooling isn’t about recreating school —
it’s about building a life where learning fits your family.

You’ve already started. And I’m cheering you on.

For a good laugh — and to see a real-life homeschool journey that was far from perfect — check out my book. In it, you’ll read about the struggles I faced when I did homeschooling completely wrong, how we adjusted and finally found our way, and the encouragement I hope will help you on your own journey.